What DomCon LA 2021 Showed Me

One of the greatest highlights of My year is DomCon Los Angeles and it’s an event I hold dear to My heart. Founded in 2004 by the legendary Mistress Cyan, the convention was formed in the spirit of uniting the professional and lifestyle BDSM communities to share in knowledge and fun. I still remember My first DomCon back in 2016 when I was purely a lifestyle Domme, how thrilled I was for the diverse class topics, fetish fashion displays and the parties every night. All of it resonated with Me and I have attended every DomCon LA ever since with as much zeal as I did as a baby domme.

After having DomCon 2020 virtual only, there was palpable excitement to finally gather in person this year and to regain some community connection. I was very honored to be selected as an educator for the event and invited to host the FemDom social as well. Education and creating safe community spaces are some of My biggest passions in life. I love being able to pass along resources, show different perspectives and break down concepts into practical and applicable steps. I love being able to see My students feel confident in trying new forms of play and discover more about themselves. I taught two of My most popular classes, “How to Create YOUR Protocol Manual” and “All Laced Up: Corsetry 101” and the audience really enjoyed learning new approaches to classic elements. I strive to highlight throughout all of My classes that each person is a unique individual. My role as an educator is to present practical approaches to safely explore but ultimately to tailor each experience. There is no cookie cutter top or cookie cutter bottom. Even if there was, where’s the fun in that?

It was wonderful to see so many incredible peers in the professional dominatrix community in attendance. Seeing old friends, meeting long distance internet friends, and making new connections all week long, the community was thriving and growing. I felt inspired by the presenters and joy to see some of My friends honored for their contributions to the community. Mxtress Wiley Wolfe was honored as the Mistress of Ceremonies and Queen Ana Blue was surprised with an outstanding community involvement award, both well deserved and touching to watch.

As I walked the Red Carpet, glowing in My evening gown with My boy at My side, I felt the full circle come into focus. The years of personal growth, skill development, learning, experience and community support building Me into the Domina that I am today. DomCon showed Me the resilience of the professional and lifestyle community, that we will always exist and that there is no stopping. I pride Myself in evolving and through DomCon, it showed Me the great internal distance I have traveled. DomCon reminded Me of My beginning, who I am now and how much farther I want to go. My evolution will never be complete, but I am excited to explore just how expansive I can craft it.

Featured on "Kinky Introverts Podcast"!

I am honored to have been interviewed by the "Kinky Introverts Podcast" to discuss My extensive experience with M/s dynamics. Master/Mistress and slave relationships are one of My greatest passions within the world of BDSM and I love to share practical steps to live out a 24/7 Total Power Exchange. Not all are called to M/s but for those who desire it, I believe that it can be built with trust, communication, mutual respect and work from both parties. After the success of My class series "Intro to M/s Dynamics" and "Building Your Protocols & Rituals for Sanctuary Studios, I was approached by the Kinky Introverts who loved hearing Me teach and wanted to feature some of My views of practical M/s.

Have you ever been curious about being in a M/s? Listen and let Me know what you think.

See the below for the podcast and check out their website for more!

Kinky Interverts Podcast Website:

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Video Preview:

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The 10 Basics of Interacting with a LIFESTYLE Domme

I get asked this question a lot from new male subs so I thought I would share My general reply.

Every Domme is different but here is My personal preference on how male submissives should approach or interact.

1. DO NOT send a copy paste template message.

2. READ the profile. Pay close attention to the details of the bio and the fetish list. These details are great ways to first vet if the Domme is someone you could have compatibility with.

3. DO NOT assume how they like to be addressed. If you are not her submissive, do not address her as Mistress/Goddess/Miss/M'am/Madame. Period.

4. ASK her what her preferred way of being addressed is.

5. Dommes get treated like sexual vending machines by countless men, so show care, respect and consideration. TREAT HER LIKE A PERSON. NOT A FETISH. Try to be a friend first!

6. Be more than sex. To me, if all the fetishes you list, photos you post or things you talk about are ALL sexual fetishes - I immediately toss them out. It makes it seem like all you care about is sex and there is nothing more to you. It makes Dommes feel like you just want them so you can act out your favorite Femdom porn. Lead first with nonsexual kinks and let the Domme take the lead of shifting the energy to sexual. SHE IS A FUCKING TOP, LET HER BE IN CHARGE. If she wants you, she will let you know know lol

7. Ask yourself this question regularly "HOW CAN I MAKE HER LIFE BETTER?" Put her first, display manners, chivalry and respect. Classic and clean good manners will get you noticed.

8. TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN DEVELOPMENT AS A SUBMISSIVE ******** This is a MASSIVE attraction point. Work on yourself. Take inventory of skills and abilities you have that are a benefit to her AND LEARN MORE NEW THINGS. Do not wait for a Domme to pick you up and teach you everything. If you want to attract a high quality Domme, be a high quality submissive. Watch YouTube tutorials, read books, attend classes.

9. Get involved in the community and make friends! It will provide you the opportunity to learn more, grow and also help Dommes see that you want more than just bedroom play. Going to events (even virtual events) allow Dommes to observe you and see how you interact.

10. DOMMES TALK TO DOMMES. If you are a douche, she will tell her Domme friends. So treat everyone, even the Dommes you may not be interested in, with common curtesy and basic respect.